A mother shatters the lies of reproductive choice

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Since Roe v. Wade was overturned two years ago, the abortion landscape has shifted dramatically, away from procedures performed in abortion facilities or hospitals, to at-home use of abortion pills.

Soon, 7 out of 10 abortions will use what proponents call medication abortion to end an unplanned pregnancy.

Calling deadly abortion pills “medicine” reinforces the image of abortion as a private and personal choice. This is simply a medical decision between a woman and her health care provider, abortion advocates insist. To deny women access to such “care” is a cruel violation of a woman’s reproductive rights.

Dora’s experience presents a different story, and one the public desperately needs to hear.

The truth is, the decision to abort often involves a number of influential friends, family, and most importantly, the child’s father. Dora’s abortion testimony also attacks the lie that abortion pills are a simple medical intervention to end a pregnancy. In truth, chemical abortion is an emotionally and physically traumatic experience for women.

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When Dora told her boyfriend about their unexpected pregnancy, she desperately wanted him to be open to parenting their baby. She asked a question to feel him out: "How are we going to tell our parents?" 

His response broke her heart: "There are other options.” 

Dora then shared an interesting recollection of their drive back to his apartment:

“I don't know why I took a picture of us that same evening in my car. I have looked back on that picture often, wishing I could go back to that precise moment and tell him that I choose my baby. I don't know why I keep that photo...but I do. Every now and then I look back and see such sadness hidden behind a smile, and I remember those intense feelings and the brokenness that was beginning to form.”

She instinctively understood they were approaching a precipice and whatever decision they made would be life changing. The photo serves as a snapshot in time of mother/child/father – alive, intact, together - a family portrait of what could have been. 

When they arrived at the apartment, Dora and her boyfriend told his roommate and two friends about the pregnancy.

“The rest of the evening consisted of all of them sitting down with me in the living room and telling me the best choice was to abort,” Dora said.

Dora knew if she continued with the pregnancy, she would have no support from family or friends. The baby’s father then extinguished any hope that he would support her desire to give life to their child.

“My cousin recently got a girl pregnant,” he told her. “His mom and dad were so disappointed in him and felt it ruined his life. I cannot disappoint my parents like this.”

Dora panicked, thinking that unless she aborted their child, she would lose her boyfriend.

“Sadly, I fell for the pressure,” she said. “And I fell for the lies.”

He made an appointment for her the following week at Planned Parenthood. She went alone.

“They gave me a small cup of pills…and almost immediately, I regretted my decision. In tears, I asked the nurse if I could take back my decision…She said if I didn't go through with the second dose my baby could and most likely will have severe damages and disabilities…once again my fear kicked in, making me choose to continue.”

Dora returned to her boyfriend’s apartment and took the second abortion pill a day later.

“As I put the pills in my mouth and let them dissolve, within 10 minutes I started to feel intense cramps. When the cramps became unbearable, I made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door and experienced the most severe pain I had ever felt in my life. I sat on the toilet and bent over in pain.

“I wanted to scream, but my boyfriend and his friends were right outside the door in the living room, watching TV (it was a small apartment). I grabbed a towel to bite on, in order to keep from screaming and was nearly passing out.

“As I got up, I saw blood everywhere. I saw parts of my baby, an image I will never be able to erase from my mind. I fell to my knees in pain and was blacking out. Concerned that the guys would see all the blood and clumps, I got on my knees and cleaned it up.

“Throughout the intensity all I could think was, ‘They cannot see this and be as traumatized and scarred as I have been.’ As soon as I left the bathroom I was about to faint when my boyfriend helped me to bed.”

It’s striking how this mother’s natural care and concern, her deep sensitivity to the feelings of others, was dangerously exploited by a boyfriend, friends and family corrupted by the toxic fruits of a nation that elevates abortion as a sacred, socially sanctioned, inviolable civil right.

Dora’s story didn’t end with the abortion. Her nightmare of reproductive health care and empowerment was just getting started.

After two weeks of intense clinical depression following her chemical abortion, she went to a follow-up appointment at Planned Parenthood, where she learned the abortion was not successful.

“Parts of my baby were still inside of me,” she said.

The nurse told her that if she had missed her appointment, she could have died from the complications of infection.

Dora now needed to have a surgical abortion.

“The nurse sent me immediately to a room for the procedure, and all I could hear were women screaming from the hallways. It sounded like a torture house. At this point I was balling my eyes out and my whole body was shaking in panic. When the nurse saw how bad I was getting, she offered me more sedatives to calm me down. I took many more and became completely numb, both physically and emotionally. I was a zombie.”

Dora’s boyfriend picked her up after the procedure, as she unleashed wails of grief and loss. Nothing could console her traumatized mother’s heart or fill her empty womb. Rather than seeing the truth that she had been exploited and manipulated, Dora blamed herself.

“The next six months of my life was pure darkness, pure depression. I started drinking heavily and smoking weed every day to escape. I would often cut myself with razors to release the pain I had inside.”

She considered suicide, going as far as to write letters of goodbye to loved ones. She dropped out of nursing school, and feeling it was divine retribution for her sin, required additional surgeries due to ovarian cysts and endometriosis from the abortion procedures. Her gynecologist told her she would struggle to conceive and carry a child to term. Panick attacks and anxiety were a weekly occurrence.

The relationship she hoped to save by aborting her child soon became another casualty of the abortion. Dora entered a period of drug use and promiscuity, losing all respect for the precious gift of her body, heart, and soul.

Thankfully, through the grace and mercy of God, she was prompted to open her heart to the possibility of healing. Jesus heard Dora’s desperate cry for help.

Dora shares, “I am no longer that same broken woman I was before. God has restored and redeemed me, and in Him I am a new creature!  I am now a child of God—clean, sober, no longer self-injuring, and happily married with two beautiful baby boys!” 

Tweet This: Thankfully, through the grace and mercy of God, Dora was prompted to open her heart to the possibility of post-abortion healing.

Let’s make sure to get Dora’s story out this election season as we hear the lies, the deception, the relentless propaganda by abortion proponents about private health care decisions and reproductive rights.

Let the light of truth shatter the lies and dispel the darkness.

[You can read Dora’s full personal testimony here, on the Silent No More Awareness Campaign website.]

Editor's note: Theresa Burke, Ph.D., and Kevin Burke, MSS, are pastoral associates of Priests for Life and the founders of Rachel’s Vineyard. This article is a Pregnancy Help News original. Additional abortion recovery resources are available HERE.

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